[ well, that royally sucked! so once it's all over, once the bodies are buried respectfully and all that jazz... well, rachel isn't exactly looking for giyuu, because she figures his friends will want to talk to him first. but next time she spots him, she'll approach. ]
[ how bold and kind of rachel to think that he has friends here but she can find him heading back to camp from the river. he had to clean himself off, okay? he'll give her a slight nod of the head as she approaches. he hasn't forgotten about her conversation with ryuji during trial... ]
[ forget tobias; giyuu is way more like jake in that respect. sure, jake had been explicitly chosen to be their leader, but also? she can already see a lot of similarities in how they both handle responsibility once they take it on. she doesn't like it one bit, even if she can, in a way, respect it.
her hands go to her hips. ]
Besides, that doesn't make it any easier. I'd say that makes it even harder sometimes.
[ not being asked to be a babysitter is something he has heard already from someone else at their camp. they never asked for his concern for them, but he was one to give it regardless. you don't need to ask someone if they need help just to help them.
though her statement about how it makes things harder is lost on him. ]
Yeah. My cousin did the same thing as you, back home - took on responsibility for the rest of us, I mean. It was hard on him even in the best of times, you know? And if something went wrong, he'd blame himself. Sure, he'd look fine on the outside, and even I didn't see it for a while, but he always beat himself up for it. If he were here, in your position, he'd be blaming himself for Zoe, too, especially if it were the wrong decision.
[ he'll listen quietly to her as she explains. it doesn't sound unbelievable for someone to cave under the pressure of having to support others. it's not something anyone can do—the more reason why giyuu makes himself more available to those who would buckle under the weight. ]
Something like this is not unfamiliar to me. [ getting blamed and the like... being made responsible for people he doesn't know... ] It's my job to do so. It doesn't matter if this is not where I'm from or not.
[ giyuu is not a psycho. he is a man who takes his responsibilities and duties very seriously and is actually quite soft deep, down inside. however, he covered that tenderness with ice and became unmovable and unwavering as a result of his training. i will write this in the meta text if only because the game is ending...
so as rachel points out how war and death take tolls on people unless they're unstable, he remains silent for a moment. yes, he isn't unaffected by what he had to do and it's been quite amazing how many people have told him to express himself lately.
unlike before, he keeps his head lowered as he doesn't say anything. he doesn't know what he can say in this case. ]
[ sometimes you just don't know how to emote properly. ]
I understand.
[ he really does; he might not have understood it before but due to the influence of some people, he has really come to understand what it means. does it mean he's any better at doing it? absolutely not. ]
But this is something that is fine with me. [ he would shoulder all of the blame from others if he could. ] It was better that it happened this way than to anyone else.
My cousin sent me on a suicide mission because he knew I'd do it when no one else would, for the sake of ending the war.
[ she says that so casually. ]
I held out for a while - and I took down as many of them as I could in the process - but I was on my own, surrounded by enemies. Eventually, I got tired, and couldn't morph anymore. And between one tired, teenaged girl and a polar bear, who do you think would win?
[ rachel shifts, a little uncomfortable with the second question. ]
...I mean, I guess it could be. It meant I didn't have to keep fighting. [ or, more importantly, worrying about what the fighting was doing to her - what she was turning into. ] Mostly it just made me wonder if anything that I did actually mattered, in the end.
[ as she speaks and shares with him about what happened to her, giyuu listens silently and makes note of how that story does not differ too much from another one that he knows. rather, one that he is aware of. he isn't sure of how it ended outside of the result.
either way, he lowers his head and looks to the side when she answers his second question. these are the last things that should come out of his mouth, but he feels compelled to. it's...the right thing to say. ]
I'm sure your actions meant something in the end.
[ he's less sure about he says next but stands by them nevertheless. ]
The Ellimist said that what I did - that I mattered, but you know. He could have just been saying that to make me feel better. I'll probably never know, either way.
It's fine, though. I did what I was supposed to do, and that's all that matters.
[ he...has been a bad "camp dad" as far as he has been concerned with how things. he's thankful that rachel has been doing well for herself but at the same time—
concern goes both ways, right? it's why he bothers to flag her down as she makes her way to the camp at all instead of letting things be. ]
[ when giyuu actually comes to here, she seems a little surprised. he's usually too awkward to initiate a conversation? maybe he's made some progress toward normal in the past two weeks. ]
Hey, Giyuu. Weird how they called you out like that, huh?
[ maybe it might be a result of hearing the same kind of concerns over and over again from various people. sometimes things really do take a few times to get through tho a person's head. that aside, he'll give it his best. ]
That voice will decide on whatever it wants in the end regardless of the rules it defines.
[ which is basically, yeah, he hates how the voice called him out like this. ]
When you make the rules, you can bend them however you like, huh?
[ hate it! ]
I'm more worried about Dimitri, though. Even if C-3PO did kill Akane somehow, I'm pretty sure he wasn't the one Dimitri wanted. And does he know how to "kill" an android? Does he even what an android is?
[ what are rules anyway? demon slayers are great about following the rules they like and breaking the ones they don't like. and he frowns at the mentioning of dimitri...yes. someone he definitely needs to talk to. ]
I don't understand what an "android" is either, but at least it would have been better for it to stay with me than with him.
[ he knows what he's capable of but isn't entirely sure what dimitri is. ]
I'm not saying I don't think he can do it. He wouldn't have issued that threat of his if he couldn't. It's just... the android thing - if C-3PO was already in pieces, how would he be killed for good? Unless we, like, fried his harddrive or something, but we'd need to find it first. Somehow I don't think he'd just walk us through how to do that. And even if he does, that still leaves us one "sacrifice" short of what the creepy voice wants.
[ i'mma also bend time here and say she was there for that post-announcement convo in trial since ray was asleep weeps ]
What do you think about what they were saying about an "orchestrator?"
[ giyuu just kind of...blankly stares at rachel when she talks about Modern Technology and accepts it. he has no idea what any of that is so he has no room to talk, but it sounds like she does. ]
Dimitri is smart—I'm sure he'll find a way.
[ because surely he must, right? also bends time and pretends that he would be there to even listen to it, i guess. ]
I think they're onto something, but I'm not entirely sure if that's the scope that they should look at. With everything that we're given and know—it still sounds like we're basing things off of assumptions.
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timeasmymeasure
week 1, sunday
Date: 2020-05-03 07:53 pm (UTC)Hey. You okay?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-03 09:00 pm (UTC)I'm fine.
[ or, well, as fine as he can be? ]
no subject
Date: 2020-05-05 01:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-05-05 02:34 am (UTC)Further more, she was my responsibility to handle.
[ rachel may or may not miss out on how giyuu feels responsible for everything that happens to and with jungle camp, but it's fine? giyuu is fine. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-05-09 02:20 pm (UTC)[ forget tobias; giyuu is way more like jake in that respect. sure, jake had been explicitly chosen to be their leader, but also? she can already see a lot of similarities in how they both handle responsibility once they take it on. she doesn't like it one bit, even if she can, in a way, respect it.
her hands go to her hips. ]
Besides, that doesn't make it any easier. I'd say that makes it even harder sometimes.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-09 03:31 pm (UTC)though her statement about how it makes things harder is lost on him. ]
Harder?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-09 03:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-05-09 06:23 pm (UTC)Something like this is not unfamiliar to me. [ getting blamed and the like... being made responsible for people he doesn't know... ] It's my job to do so. It doesn't matter if this is not where I'm from or not.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-09 06:28 pm (UTC)[ she crosses her arms, irritated. ]
My cousin was used to it, too, you know. But war, and death? Those things take a toll on people, unless you're some kind of psycho.
[ giyuu isn't a psycho... she thinks. maybe she's wrong, but rachel's pretty sure she's the crazy one, between the two of them. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-05-09 06:37 pm (UTC)so as rachel points out how war and death take tolls on people unless they're unstable, he remains silent for a moment. yes, he isn't unaffected by what he had to do and it's been quite amazing how many people have told him to express himself lately.
unlike before, he keeps his head lowered as he doesn't say anything. he doesn't know what he can say in this case. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-05-09 06:49 pm (UTC)Look, I won't force you to talk about your feelings or whatever. I'm just saying - the whole taking care of each other thing? It goes both ways.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-09 07:21 pm (UTC)I understand.
[ he really does; he might not have understood it before but due to the influence of some people, he has really come to understand what it means. does it mean he's any better at doing it? absolutely not. ]
But this is something that is fine with me. [ he would shoulder all of the blame from others if he could. ] It was better that it happened this way than to anyone else.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-09 08:21 pm (UTC)Well, it's not like I don't get that. It's kind of why I'm supposed to be dead, so I guess I can't talk.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-09 08:33 pm (UTC)How did you die? Is it freeing?
[ give me lore, but more realistically he wants to compare her story to someone else and see where the similarities lie. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-05-09 08:49 pm (UTC)[ she says that so casually. ]
I held out for a while - and I took down as many of them as I could in the process - but I was on my own, surrounded by enemies. Eventually, I got tired, and couldn't morph anymore. And between one tired, teenaged girl and a polar bear, who do you think would win?
[ rachel shifts, a little uncomfortable with the second question. ]
...I mean, I guess it could be. It meant I didn't have to keep fighting. [ or, more importantly, worrying about what the fighting was doing to her - what she was turning into. ] Mostly it just made me wonder if anything that I did actually mattered, in the end.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-10 05:18 pm (UTC)either way, he lowers his head and looks to the side when she answers his second question. these are the last things that should come out of his mouth, but he feels compelled to. it's...the right thing to say. ]
I'm sure your actions meant something in the end.
[ he's less sure about he says next but stands by them nevertheless. ]
What you did—it helped someone, I'm sure.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-10 07:50 pm (UTC)The Ellimist said that what I did - that I mattered, but you know. He could have just been saying that to make me feel better. I'll probably never know, either way.
It's fine, though. I did what I was supposed to do, and that's all that matters.
week 2, saturday
Date: 2020-05-10 02:08 am (UTC)concern goes both ways, right? it's why he bothers to flag her down as she makes her way to the camp at all instead of letting things be. ]
Rachel.
[ he's bad at this, i'm sorry. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-05-10 02:23 am (UTC)Hey, Giyuu. Weird how they called you out like that, huh?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-10 02:37 am (UTC)That voice will decide on whatever it wants in the end regardless of the rules it defines.
[ which is basically, yeah, he hates how the voice called him out like this. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-05-10 02:44 am (UTC)[ hate it! ]
I'm more worried about Dimitri, though. Even if C-3PO did kill Akane somehow, I'm pretty sure he wasn't the one Dimitri wanted. And does he know how to "kill" an android? Does he even what an android is?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-10 03:14 am (UTC)[ what are rules anyway? demon slayers are great about following the rules they like and breaking the ones they don't like. and he frowns at the mentioning of dimitri...yes. someone he definitely needs to talk to. ]
I don't understand what an "android" is either, but at least it would have been better for it to stay with me than with him.
[ he knows what he's capable of but isn't entirely sure what dimitri is. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-05-10 04:08 pm (UTC)[ i'mma also bend time here and say she was there for that post-announcement convo in trial since ray was asleep weeps ]
What do you think about what they were saying about an "orchestrator?"
no subject
Date: 2020-05-10 05:22 pm (UTC)Dimitri is smart—I'm sure he'll find a way.
[ because surely he must, right? also bends time and pretends that he would be there to even listen to it, i guess. ]
I think they're onto something, but I'm not entirely sure if that's the scope that they should look at. With everything that we're given and know—it still sounds like we're basing things off of assumptions.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-10 07:52 pm (UTC)[ maybe she shouldn't, on murder island, but he's a good guy. very capable. she likes him. ]
It's not like we have a lot more to go off of. [ rachel tilts her head, curious. ] So what do you think we should be looking at, then?